The word “abuse” used to apply exclusively to children and the elderly.
It was not used for sane, sober, competent adults, because society reasonably assumed they could just divorce assholes and leave …
But now that we understand the human mind more deeply and clearly, we recognize that there are psychological factors that prevent one from leaving. Factors like denial, codependence, fear, pathological loyalty, and others can make it quite hard to divorce the asshole and say goodbye.
That’s all true … but it’s this next line of reasoning that’s neither sane or true, and it’s where the “competitive victims” in our society lose the support and allegiance of sober thinkers.
It goes like this:
The abuser was acting out of evil, manipulative free-will, and is FULLY ACCOUNTABLE for her (eg Amber Heard) actions. Where-as little old me, was captured by Stockholm Syndrome and other psychological forces, that prevented me from leaving.
As such, the abuser is FULLY ACCOUNTABLE for her behavior, and I’m off the hook for any adult accountability or responsibility I would normally have for keeping my adult-self in a terrible and toxic situation.
Isn’t it surprisingly convenient that these well understood psychological forces ACT ONLY on the victims, but through some magic trick of intellectual sorcery, the Cluster-B types are totally unconstrained, free-will Godzilla’s. They seem to have found the power to circumvent the automatic forces in their own brain!! They should be hailed as God’s who can simultaneously transcend the forces of psychology and biology/the human nervous system.
If you believe that, I’ve got some ocean-front property in Arizona to sell you.
Getting to the short answer for your question … YES!!
We all have unconscious patterns for [homeostasis preservation](https://www.quora.com/search?q=homeostasis%20preservation&author=84795924 “www.quora.com”) … which, on the surface, seem to resemble self-sabotage. And it’s through this socially (and incorrectly) labeled self-sabotage, that we “abuse” ourselves in the eye’s of shallow thinkers.
We all have an unconscious mind. And living a life without understanding it, is like flying a plane, yet not knowing how to adjust or disable the auto-pilot. It’s an incredibly short-sighted strategy.
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to What are the benefits of seeking therapy?