Demons and losing one’s mind are quite serious issues … something to be avoided at nearly all costs.
And if you are imposing limits on the tools you’re allowed to use (eg excluding therapy), I’d be curious as to why you would do that to yourself?
Perhaps you are broke, but other than that, this condition would inform me that something very strange is going on …. perhaps some (unconscious) part of you really doesn’t want to heal … that’s actually quite common!
I’ve written a lot about this “status quo” drive in these many posts! I generally call it “homeostasis preservation”.
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to What are the benefits of seeking therapy?