A human is an organic system … this system contains vast intelligence encoded in the nervous system (CNS) … and the CNS “knows” many things beyond our human cognitive ability to calculate/derive/understand.
For example, the CNS knows:
- when it is useful, appropriate, necessary, to repress, deny, delete, distort (aka cognitive distortions) information and experience (aka “denial” is a feature, not a bug)
- … by “useful”, I mean aligned with the core CNS goals of conserving energy and reducing disequilibrium (aka homeostasis preservation)
- that energy management and homeostasis preservation are HIGHER order priorities than psychological comfort … at least from an evolved, survival and reproduction driven mandate
- the timing and order in which it is safe and reasonable to surface and face (remember and process) traumatic material is governed by the above mandates
- the internal tools (neurological skills and habits) needed to be on-board BEFORE it is productive and safe to serve-up (face and heal) core trauma material
- … the CNS makes one big error with its “repetition compulsion” (aka a dog returns to its vomit) … by this I mean the unconscious will push us to revisit trauma in an unintentional way, BEFORE we’ve acquired the skills to use it for healing and growth
- how to govern and regulate the entire list above
My own nervous system has taught me all of the above … and I respect it deeply.
But my personality has been one of an engineer and scientist, and after active and massively curiously involvement in the psych/trauma space for over 30 years, I’ve acquired a nose for identifying people’s core-material quite quickly. I see the core leverage points, and I know how to help shift them.
And an arrogant part of me wants to go right to work on the biggest problem, without the slow roundabout journey that the CNS knows is necessary and wisest. In short, some part of me still clings to the (metaphorical) fantasy that I can force a flower to bloom by using a screwdriver.
And this is insane … it’s not grounded or accurate. But when I see people suffering, it triggers a sad hopelessness in me, that harkens back to the young boy who was incapable of helping his parents or himself. I hated that hopelessness and I acquired all these skills and personality attributes to escape it. And here I am, seeing 85% of the picture quite deeply, and STILL feeling powerless to intervene, because the CNS knows it needs to go on a 9 month circuitous route to get us there.
So my greatest weakness as a trauma therapist, is patience and acceptance
I handle it by:
- facing and healing my own past feelings of powerlessness
- healing my own wounds around time and productivity
- honoring and being grateful to the wisdom and assistance of the CNS in helping people grow
- biting my tongue and slowing things down
posts on homeostasis preservation