Homeostasis preservation is the primary reason. And lack of access to (or knowledge of) effective interventions is in second place.
What is “Homeostasis preservation”?
You know about (embedded unconscious) evolutionary programs like xenophobia or sexual selection, right?? These programs helped your ancestors survive .. and that’s the reason your genes made it to 2019.
Ancient children who deviated from the “familiar norms” of their parent/family were at much greater risk of getting eaten. Statistically speaking, their genes did not make into modernity.
So we all have an embedded program in our DNA to resist any change that would be systemically destabilizing … and guess what, recovery involves both abandoning the familiar, and becoming VERY (temporarily) destabilized.
This unconscious program causes you to quit therapy, return to dysfunctional patterns, select shitty counselors, only attend during emergencies, and avoid people and techniques that trigger you in unfamiliar ways.
In the same way that xenophobia is a barrier to establishing a color-blind and racially neutral society, this “homeostasis preservation” program is actively inhibiting your recovery & personal growth.
It’s not popular or politically correct, but the biggest inhibitor to our growth and freedom is usually our own inhibitions and rigid adherence to the status quo.
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to What makes it hard for some people with BPD to stick to therapy?
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to How often do highly empathetic parents cause highly narcissistic children?