Nothing is wrong with you. All of our brains resist unfamiliar & destabilizing change, EVEN from miserable circumstances. It’s a built-in process called homeostasis preservation.
Begin training yourself to tolerate uncomfortable NEW experiences. You can start as small as opening doors with your non-dominant hand. Or try with your foot. Pick up a musical instrument that you have zero skills with and tolerate the discomfort of being new. Any small changes, done with an air of emotional curiosity will do the trick.
As you build this skill, you will move into the process of reparenting yourself.