This is an interesting question because some % of clients are really desperate for rapid change, and another cohort is (unconsciously) trying to hold onto their familiar status-quo.
I could go into the reasons that divide those two groups, but it’s not germaine to your question.
However, each group will answer your question differently:
- to the first group (committed to their uncomfortable growth), a good therapist is one that inspires them to try on unfamiliar and uncomfortable frames of existence. All change is uncomfortable so these people have to be willing to tolerate destabilization.
- the 2nd group (unconsciously terrified of the unknown) prefer a therapist with whom they feel accepted, comfortable, and not much pushed into discomfort. They want sessions where they feel better leaving the office, but that nothing too threatening or destabilizing ever happens that might disrupt their sense of self, or general worldview.
In all complex systems (humans) above a certain level of information processing, there is an ongoing drive for [homeostasis preservation](https://www.quora.com/search?q=homeostasis%20preservation&author=84795924 “www.quora.com”) … this is the core force with which all drive for change must contend.
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to What are the benefits of seeking therapy?