Originally Answered: I have alot of anger towards my dad who is always negative/child-like attitude. A Narcisstic man who never changed his ways. How can I overcome this?
There is an expression in 12-step …
“Anger is like drinking poison & then waiting for the other person to die”
You have to forgive your dad … not because he deserves it, but because it’s the right thing to do for your life … for your future
A “copy” of your dad lives inside of you in the form of an “introject”. Your forgiveness will allow you to discover what that dad-inside needs most deeply. To learn exactly what his VERY SAD way of being, is trying to compensate for … what wound is his unconscious trying to heal?
And after time, you will come to understand the painful wounding that made your dad behave the way he does. And with growing self knowledge, you will recognize the processes in his psyche that make it really difficult for him to change.
It’s not stubbornness or selfishness … it’s deep-structures placed there by evolution (for the purposes of survival) that were co-opted by childhood experiences to create this strategy. He is NOT at fault; even though he is responsible for the life he creates going forward. If you talk to the inner-dad that you judge, find out what he needs, you won’t let his problem become yours.
My own process with such anger is detailed in this answer:
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to Are you still holding grudges against your father?
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