When evaluating (or screening for) a therapist, there is something important of which you need to be aware …
Consider that God/nature/evolution (you pick) built DENIAL (repression, dissociation, deleting, distorting) for a reason … it’s a [FEATURE](https://www.quora.com/search?q=homeostasis%2520preservation&author=84795924 “www.quora.com”), not a bug.
This means that your unconscious has an agenda to reduce stress and keep you stable … it’s called [homeostasis preservation](https://www.quora.com/search?q=homeostasis%2520preservation&author=84795924 “www.quora.com”) and it’s a powerful unconscious program that works to keep you from changing too much, or too quickly.
The reasons for this is that when our ancestors changed in sudden ways, two terrible things happened:
- they were no longer a good fit to survive in their current environment (strategies not fitting external context)
- the emotional volatility made them less attentive to key survival strategies (food, defense, reproduction)
In short, we all have been passed this “program” which mandates CHANGE-VERY-SLOWLY
Now, getting back to your question …
The most skilled therapists with whom I’ve worked, were able to see my wounds and baggage within the first 5 minutes of sitting with me. Their noticing did not threaten me … but when they called attention to it (shined light on my repressed material), that’s when this “status quo” (aka [homeostasis preservation](https://www.quora.com/search?q=homeostasis%2520preservation&author=84795924 “www.quora.com”)) program lit up like a Xmas tree. It made up all sorts of stories about how this therapists sucks, was not safe, and I needed to get away from them.
In short, their massive skill at helping me change, was a threat to my nervous system, and so it coerced my rational brain to make up lots of discounting stories about them.
I’m sorry … I know this does not help you trust yourself, but it’s the truth no less.
Dewey Gaedcke’s answer to What are the benefits of seeking therapy?