It’s not empathy that creates NPD … not at all!! Modeling empathy & compassion is really good for children.
It is addictive codependence …. excusing, coddling & infantilizing that is a major causal factor.
Extremely codependent parents are often using their children to manage their own self-esteem issues, as well as to regulate their own anxiety and feelings of insignificance.
To the child, this feels both like harsh objectification, as well as betrayal, and is a significant causal factor for NPD.
Keep in mind that although I use the word “using”, and many people are likely to layer an assumption of “blame” onto my words, they are mistaken. All of this process is unconscious and the parents are just as much victims of their own childhood as the kids are. There is no blame here … just a lack of awareness as to what our deep unconscious drives are selecting (mistakenly) as optimal solutions.
Until we study ourselves deeply, we are all victims to the autopilot (interpretive framework) that is driving our priorities & behavior. It’s the nature of being human, and I offer no judgement or moralization about it … it’s just how our psyche works, at this stage of human evolution.
Although I struggle at times, I don’t typically even judge people who KNOW they have an unconscious-autopilot, and yet still refuse to study it. Even that behavior is consistent with important safety mechanisms like denial, dissociation and homeostasis preservation.